Too Strange for Words

I just sat there with my mouth agape, like I was watching Mouse Hunt. The following trailer will leave you wondering what decade it is. I thought it was almost 2008, but I guess in South America its 1975. Cool premise, Batman references and all, but when he kicks a dude and does a backflip for no reason... well count me in!!

More Movies

If you haven't seen Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle. Go get it! This is the obviously changed sequel. Maybe they'll get to Amsterdam in the third movie. And Neil Patrick Harris is damn funny.

Anchorman as Cager

I was going to write an essay about the upcoming year of movies, holiday madness and schaudenfreude. Then I thought "Fuck it!". Let's get right to the video!

The next Wayne Gretsky?

Syd Crosby gets into his first fight last night. After 1.25 years in the league. With a Gordie Howe hat trick and all! He will be playing the Sabres on Jan 1 in Ralph Wilson Stadium. Case you don't know, eh, that's where da Bills play. National broadcast at 1pm. I just wish they could get Don Cherry for the game.

Have a Merry Christmas!

A Very Walken Christmas, Part II

"Oh, look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to
have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast
food, and beer. Who'd have ever guessed that product con-
sumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix
so harmoniously?" -Calvin & Hobbes



Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even this mouse.
For I bit off its head, and shaved off its hair,
Stuck it in Timmy’s stocking, hung from the chimney with care.

The children asleep, waiting for Santa to come,
While visions of sugar…wait…what the fuck is a sugar plum?
Grandma in her ‘kerchief, Grandpa in his cap,
Had just settled down, for a long winter’s nap.

To say “just settled in” is a bit of a mistake,
Twelve years in those chairs, they won’t soon awake.
I think they’re fun, you can move them about,
I had just put Grandpa’s cold fist in his mouth.

When out in the yard, there arose such a clatter,
I looked onto the lawn to see only bone and grey matter,
The moon lit the moisture on the new-scattered flesh,
The blood yet to freeze, you could tell it was fresh.

Then, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But eight stupid little dogs … err … tiny reindeer,
Strapped to a driverless sleigh were these fawn,
And I knew Santa’s remains were all over my lawn.

He always was a bit jolly, a little bit high,
And what’s Christmas Eve without a DWI?
I took a seat in the sleigh, between seven large bags,
Peered over the front, and read off the dogs’ tags:

“Now, Dasher! Now Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen!”
What lonely sicko names their stupid dog Vixen?
“On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!”
Your master is mangled, and surely we’ll miss him.

But Christmas goes on, with me at the reigns,
Sure beats hanging out here and cleaning up brains,
But the reindeer won’t budge, kinda makes you wonder,
If they know that I was in The goddam Deer Hunter.

“C’mon silly dogs! I know you recall,
how to dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”
That got them started, and to the house-tops they flew,
With a sleigh full of toys, and the Angel of Death too.

So to all you naughty kids, don’t ever fear,
I’m running the show, and this might be your year,
You might hear me cackle, as I swoop down like a hawk and
Howl “Merry Chris-mas to all, from your pal Santa Walken!”

Note to the little ones: Do not worry about your fat friend. There are 17 confirmed immortals in the world. I am one of them. Santa is another. He will be back next year. Hopefully he’ll lay off the sauce.

Merry Christmas!

2 Best lines ever, back to back in a movie.




BTW, if any of the links go down, let me know.

Breakfast!

So with Christmas around the corner, I get to enjoy a huge breakfast sometime soon. Probably with a pound of bacon somewhere, and maybe even a martini. Maybe I'll make a bacon martini! I love bacon, just not as much as this guy...

Flying Spaghetti Monster

So at this time of the year, many of us may be pondering our personal beliefs. I'm not going to touch anything religious. But the school districts that are pushing for teaching intelligent design (faith based) in public schools are a little of base. If they are pushing for a religious teaching in public schools we might get a few lawsuits soon. The first one will probably be from some atheist. I like to think the God's purpose for us is to figure it out. The almighty being, whomever she may be gave us the ability to question things. Its built in like an instinct. The book of Genesis almost make wisdom and intelligence look like a gift from the devil. The tree of knowledge was created by God. If he didn't want us to eat from the tree, it wouldn't have been there in the first place. The devil was smart enough to get those damn dirty apes interested enough in poking things with a stick to see what might happen.
Then again maybe you want to read God's Debris by the same guy who writes Dilbert, Scott Adams.
In other news, there are only about 100 so called astro-physicists on the planet. Here's what they have been contributing to the intelligent design/darwin/flying spaghetti monster theory on the creation story.

Today's Magic word is...

PeeWee!!!

GH III reviewed

NSFW, this guy swears a little and the cartoons are a little randy.

Christmas Fun!

A Christmas Story Drinking Game
Everyone loves the story of Ralphie and his red rider bb gun so why not pair it with alcohol this year. In the Christmas Story drinking game you will need: 1)the movie 2)your drink of choice 3)a bottle of tequila or some Harpoon Winter Warmer beer:

* This game works best with 8 or more people because of the number of sayings you need to look out for
* Assign each player one of the following situations to pick up on and then announce to the group:

1. Scott Farkas and his toadie either threaten to beat someone up or actually do beat someone up
2. Randy whines or cries
3. Ralphie’s old man mentions the furnace
4. Mom serves food
5. Ralphie daydreams
6. Ralphie mentions his secret decoder ring
7. The next door neighbor’s dogs piss off Ralphie’s old man
8. Someone says “you’ll shoot your eye out”
9. Anytime anyone mentions a Red Rider BB Gun - TEQUILA!

* Every time someone hears their assigned phrase in the movie they yell out “drink” and everyone takes a sip of their own drink
* Each time the Red Rider BB Gun is mentioned everyone takes a shot of Tequila
* Most functional person at the end of the movie is the winner

Finally!

Get Lost!!

So its finally back in Feb. Might get cut short b/c of strike.



I think I am still more excited about this.

Back to the Christmas Fun

Just plain silly. Or maybe its because I'm 4 or 5 pints o' Guinness in.

Damn, I love me some hockey!

Leave it to the old man Hasek to do this.


Hockey Player Goes Flying - Watch more free videos

Happy Holidays!!

I think this covers everyone for a bit of holiday cheer.
Have a holly jolly Christmas It's the best time of the year
Well I don't know if there'll be snow But have a cup of cheer.
BTW, just what is a cup of cheer? I know there's snow in Buffalo and Boston is going to get a nice Nor'Easter this weekend. I think the cup o' cheer should be a Carbomb!



In german too!

!!!!!Return Everything!!!!!!

OMGWTFBBQ!!!!
I have to have this game. So I nee everyone to return what they may have bought for Xmas. I only wnat this!!! I would take this over paying my rent. Well not really. Here's what sld me on the game.



Then I saw this, the game interface, yup, kicks ass!! Me wants!!




Holy crap I'm so frickin' excited right now!. Check out my spelling errors! I can't type fast enough or use more exclamation points!!11!!
Me wants Rockband!
I will spare you the video from college of me and some random floormates lipsyncing Enter Sandman.

I want a case of Christmas!

I want a case for Christmas! Its got electrolytes! Then I'm going to Carl's Jr.

Quentin Tarantino's next movie

I thought this was the school girl from Kill Bill Vol. 1.
Ash would be proud.

Flashback

I wish I still had this CD. Had intro music for MTV's Headbanger's Ball.

Idocane Powder

I picked this over Andre the Giant "Anybody want a peanut."
There is also the possibility of a Princess Bride video game.

Lazy Sunday Part II

Looks like this could be better than this first.

Calvin & Hobbes

Happy Chanakuh!!

So here's the original Adam Sandler video for all the Jews on this first day!
Got enough oil? At $100 a barrel, you might have to make a dreidel out of the litter box this year.

IQ

Did anyone see Kelly Pickler on "Are you dumber than a Fifth Grader?"
She thought Europe was a country. I don't even want to post the clip but I would like to see a debate between her and the Carolina Miss USA dumbicile. How scary is it that these two morons represent nearly half of the US population? On the IQ scale, the average IQ of a U.S. American is 100. One standard deviation brings us to 85, the average IQ of middle management. That's 34% of the population. One more standard deviation gives us 70. Forrest Gump range, but I think he would know Europe was not a country. That's 14% of the population for a total 48% of the US between 100 (average) and 70 (Multimillionaire star of Tabloids.) Think of that next time you have to interact with a stranger. They might just be dumber than a Fifth Grader!
BTW, can we get Jeff Foxworthy to answer a few questions, just to prove my point?
I kill me!

Spitter

Don't watch this is Panera, while drinking coffee.



I had no idea what this was supposed to be based on the intro with the old dude.
Watch out for the tree!