Failure Pile in a Bowl of Sadness

My first week in Counciltucky has been a major shock to say the least. Driving to work I noticed that only cars from Iowa are insanely dirty. Clean car= Omaha, dirty car= Iowa. I was desperate for dinner and found some comfort food at Fazoli's. While sitting at the drive thru to take home some lasagna, I was overlooking a train yard and tractor trailer depot with dozens of dirty cars driving by. That gave me an overwhelming feeling of sadness. I almost started to cry based on that just a week before I had been on a beach at a 5 star resort I can walk into anytime. I could get a Mojito made with RedBull and toast marshmallows over the fire behind the beach bar.
The car ride from FL to here was uneventful. The most excitement came from the decreasing gas prices. I think I saw $3.47 yesterday. I arrive to find a apartment I did not ask for, even though what I wanted was available. It was Saturday and I told the office I was arriving on Friday. The leasing agent/bimbo had shown our apartment an hour before, only to discover the a/c was not working. Shouldn't someone have discovered this and fixed it already. First guy says its fixed and blowing cold. After I sweat thru the night they discover no coolant in unit. Plus, for added laughs, the refrigerator was not working. The weekend on-call service guy offers to bring in the next door apt's fridge. He just moved out. Great, some college douchebag's unclean icebox. Since the apt floor plan is a mirror image the door opens opposite of how mine should, so I have to stand in the laundry room to access the contents of said doppelganger icebox.
More hilarity comes from the hundred's of dead bugs on the window sills. The manager said he did a walkthru on Wed. Must have been midnight with the lights off to miss that and the 6 inch wide gouge in the window sill I can see from across the room because ITS WHITE!! and the walls are painted tan. So with the fridge off, I make my way to the nearest Hy-Vee. That's grocery store to you common folks. I felt like I was getting hives and should get a test for HIV after leaving that store. Special- previously frozen tuna, nice brown parts and fresh brown hamburger meat also. I really wanted to crawl into a tub and open some veins after I saw the beer section. It reminded me of the Blues Brothers inquiring about what kind of music the bar plays. "We got both kinds, country and western!" The wall cooler only had Bud Heavy/Light/Special, Coors, Miller brands.
To top it all of I still don't have my delivery from the movers. Yup, no furniture, clothes, cookware or beer mugs. I sleep on the inflatable bed and my wife is on the folded up down comforter on the floor.
I did manage a laugh from this trailer. Maybe my stuff will arrive by the time this gets out.